I’m struggling Ouch. Those words are painful to say. Just 2 words, 3 syllables all in, but they’re incredibly daunting. They open up so many questions, they may you feel incredibly vulnerable. You’re putting yourself out there to be judged. By opening up you feel you’re going to be alone because people don’t understand. “She looked fine the other day.” “He was laughing when I saw him earlier.” “Think someone just wants a bit of time off to skive, I’d love a lie-in.” Do you know what? They probably do look ok. On the surface they have a smile, chat like normal even laughing and joking. Sometimes that works. That facade works. You are able to kid...
It became very easy to be wrapped up in the hospital life on the neonatal unit. The days flew by in a flurry; I didn’t once ever think I was bored, in fact I felt I barely had time for anything. In my blogs I have talked a lot about Arlo and everything that goes along with a prolonged neonatal stay, but one thing I haven’t talked about much is home. Life back home was going on without me and that was hard, very hard. The summer-green leaves had turned a golden-brown with shades of red, orange and yellow. In the flicker of an eye they began to carpet the ground below. It was the time of year for autumn...
Pink Pant Friday… I couldn’t think of a better subtitle. There are only a select few people who will know what this means, but I feel pink pant Friday should be shared! As I have mentioned before, after a couple of weeks in neonatal Arlo got a little friend who was there to stay. Others had come and gone after their brief stay in neonatal had moved to the high dependency unit and hopefully to low dependency and home. I didn’t feel I had much in common with these parents; the only communication was a cursory smile. They were holding their babies on a daily basis, waiting and willing them to get stronger. I feel like a hypocrite assuming that...
The Talk You get to know your own baby, even when you’re unable to pick them up and cuddle them close when even you want; even with all those wires, tubes and monitors, encapsulated in their own little bubble, they’re still your baby. You get to know if they’re happy or sad or grumpy or cheeky, they find their own ways to communicate and let their feelings known. Arlo would set his alarms off, stick out his bottom lip and scrunch up his face when he was feeling unhappy. This was known as his ‘Alfie lip’ because he was a carbon copy of his big brother when pulling that face. Every time I stared at this little miracle in front...
Where you get things both out of AND off your chest! Arlo was truly showing off at the moment. It was commented that Arlo was ‘ripping up the rulebook’ it was even mentioned that he ‘hadn’t done his homework and read the rulebook’ as he seemed to be making things up as he went along! When the doctors came to him on their rounds every morning their plan for the day usually started with a shrug and a pregnant pause while they scratched their heads! Arlo had them running round in circles like headless chickens while he made them wait to decide how he was going to play things today and they knew it. He was keeping them dangling by...
